Oct. 4th, 2009

It's done!

Oct. 4th, 2009 09:40 pm
filthgoblin: (Default)
Grinding it out was painful and took forfuggingever, but I've completed the first draft of my Halloween fic and shipped it off for beta. I don't think I've obsessed as hard over any fic I've written before. Ever. I still know it has a long way to go, but I know that [livejournal.com profile] karaokegal will help me hammer it into shape.

Also, I can't explain just how much I love [livejournal.com profile] terraswrath. She's supported me all the way through this process, egged me on, waved the pompoms and given me really constructive advice. Not that I need a reason to love her. I love her like a kid loves bubblegum anyway :)

I can go into the new week knowing I've achieved something now. It's a good feeling indeed.
filthgoblin: (Default)
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I read this prompt and it actually made me a little sad. The person I would have counted as my oldest friend and I parted company earlier this year and it still hurts. She and I had known each other since we were both 12, which means we would have been friends for 20 years this year. I think about her almost if not every day, sometimes affectionately, sometimes sadly, sometimes with anger and indignation at how our friendship panned out. I hope that over time the latter emotions will abate and leave me with happier reflections on the good times we had together.

As a result, I don't have one BFF these days. I'm a strong believer that time served does not a great friendship make. One of the people I've known the longest in my life let me down and hurt me badly. On the other hand, I have some friends I've met in the past few years for whom I just can't express the love I feel or the joy they bring into my life. [livejournal.com profile] minlliw has been amazing. We have so much fun together, and she's been there for me offering support in emotional and practical ways over the past couple of years in ways that have renewed my faith in human beings. [livejournal.com profile] after8mink is one of my soulmates. He is me in masculine form, and I feel so lucky to have found him. We've both been kind of busy in the past few weeks and not been in touch as much, but I know he'll always be there if I need him and I know he know the same goes for me.

As time has gone on, I have blurred the lines between my real life and online friends too. My life would be so different today if it weren't for a number of people I met online and became close to in ways that transcend random internet chat. [livejournal.com profile] silvaa and [livejournal.com profile] terraswrath are rocks for me, and I love them so much. There are others of my online friends I'd love to meet. [livejournal.com profile] terraswrath and I, in spite of talking pretty much every day online sometimes for hours and hours at a time, haven't met. I'd also love to meet [livejournal.com profile] candesgirl [Massachusetts or Wales, either/or :)] and [livejournal.com profile] sweetsyren. I used to be sceptical about the validity of connections made online, but I'm so over that way of thinking. I've met some awesome people through my online life and I feel much more able to be myself when I can consider what I say instead of either being too shy to open my mouth or blurting something out before I can take it back.

I don't make friends easily. I can be quite closed-off, I'm very guarded about letting my emotions out and I suck at smalltalk so making friends in real life is quite hard for me. I value my friends and am fiercely loyal to them. I would like to think that the friendships I make are forever, but I know now that things can change.

The one person who is probably my oldest, closest and best friend is Mr G. I know that probably sounds sappy, but it's true. Even before we hooked up romantically I knew I couldn't envisage a life without him in it and it's even stronger today. He is the single most important person in my life, even more than me. His friendship and companionship mean more to me than I can express.

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