Five Things meme

[filthgoblin]

I picked up some things about me to talk about from karaokegal and candesgirl 

I first discovered John Simm in Human Traffic, which was the first film I owned on DVD. Justin Kerrigan, who wrote and directed it, used to work with my best mate and I'd been out for a night out with him and the rest of the Odeon crowd once before I went to uni and that was the main reason I bought the DVD in the first place. I remember being captivated by him in that, and how real Jip was - it wasn't like he was a character. I totally believed in him. But then I pretty much forgot about him until I started watching Life on Mars [see below] and discussing with silvaa [more on whom in a minute ;)] and the more I watched him the more amazed I was about how real he was in everything he did. As people who know me will attest, I get a little obsessed with people I admire and the more I read about him - his choice of parts, and those he rejected; his love for his wife and his children; his interesting past - the more I respected him. He is incredibly talented. Then couple that respect with the fact he just exudes sexuality and you have a very very compelling package.

I didn't really get into Life on Mars the first time round. Mr G. got into it from a boy-aspect of "ooh! Seventies cars!" angle, and it just passed me by. It was only when it was on a second time that I got hooked. I loved it. The story was so clever, the development of the relationships was perfectly pitched and there was nothing around like it. The second series just seemed to get better and better, but like a lot of others I was a little disappointed by the way that it ended. I don't subscribe to the whole "suicidal ending is BAD!" wank but you could tell that the production company just went "yeah, wrap it up now". As a result, I tend to watch earlier eps more than the later ones.

Yuletide was an interesting experience last year. I love to get prompts, to write for unusual pairings or give fresh love to smaller fandoms so the opportunity to get something totally out of the blue was really exciting for me. The pairing I got was very unexpected and a femme couple, which wasn't new to me but not my strongest suit. However, I felt like I managed to get something really good out of it and with the help of some tough love from karaokegal I felt I wrote something strong. But once the 25th December came and went I started to feel a little resentful. I'm not good at praising myself or recognising when I've done well, but I did write a fic I felt proud of for once. But no-one commented, apart from the recipient. Not a single comment received. And whilst no-one was commenting on the fic I'd sweated blood over in terms of form, function, characterisation and accuracy, people were all over other fic with positive comments including one where the name of one of the main characters in the fandom was wrong throughout the entire fic. Then there was the whole reccing thing, which just saw the same fics in the same fandoms recced over and over again and in the end I came away feeling like it was a big ol' jerk-off for a select few.

Overall, I'm pleased with what it inspired me to do, but for the angst it caused me I don't know if I'll do it again.

I went through an obsessive phase with Phil Glenister. Not unusual, given what I've already said about my tendency to do so with people I admire. However, it doesn't seem to have been that enduring,m possibly because it needs to be about more for me than just sexuality or looks and there are other men that I find more all-round attractive due to their talents or other things. I think Gene Hunt is a fabulous character and that Phil owns it completely. Sometimes I want to shake Phil and tell him that women don't just find Gene attractive, because his sexy Southern purr is just as likely to make me giggly. Just in a different way.

And talking of people I admire on many, many levels, I give you Simon Pegg. Oh dear lord, where to begin. I first fell in love with Tim Bisley in Spaced, and that was cemented when Mr G and I first started going out and people compared us to Tim and Daisy (although I'm not entirely sure how I feelabout being compared with Daisy Steiner!). He's an amazing writer, a skillful actor, a slash-fan's wet dream, and seems like such a lovely, lovely guy. He really appreciates his fans and he shows it. He is so down to earth, even now his star is truly, rightfully, in the ascendance. And he also has the kind of geeky cuteness that makes me go gooey in all the right ways.

Oh, and I just found out that he and his wife Maureen are expecting a baby. And because of all the above I found myself squealing with girlish glee and feeling happier for him than I did for some people that I actually know well in real life. How messed up is that?

RPS/RPF is something that I only really got into through chatting with others. The fact that some people find it squicky came as a surprise to me. Whilst it is theoretically about "real people", they aren't really real to me. I don't know them, and I certainly don't mean any harm or disrespect by pairing people I find attractive and imagining in words that other people can read what it would be like if they fucked. They are characters like any others in my head because I don't actually know them. If and when I do write RPF, I do keep real things in it because otherwise to my mind it's like ignoring canon in any fandom.

So, what of me and smut? Well, for as long as I can remember, I've always been smutty. I remember being an incredibly innuendous teenager, always seeking out the double ententre.  My apparently encyclopaedic knowledge of sexual terms have recently won me the nickname "Auntie Disgusting" from one of my friends, which makes me giggle. I've come to realise that I have a list of kinks as long as your arm: vampirism and biting; BDSM; gloves; burlesque; corsetry; dirty talk; spanking and a whole host of others I can't bring to mind right now. And the longer I live and experience, the more things I add to that list. Things I think of as relatively tame seem to be really extreme to others, but each to their own, I guess.

However, I find that of late my smut has deserted me. My libido has packed its bags and left town. I can neither bring myself to write about, watch or have sex. I'm just not getting the horn and I don't know why. I've found a wonderful new fandom with some really skillful writers and whilst I can appreciate their writing I just can't get off on it like I used to. It upsets me. I hope the filth comes home soon.

Oh, silvaa. What can I say about that wonderful, generous, understanding, kind-hearted filthy minx that will do her justice? She and I have known each other for a few years now, conversed for long, long hours online, spent a couple of epic nights together and shared lot - giggles, tears and experiences. She's been there for me a lot in the past couple of years and I can't thank her enough for that. Or for being the one to introduce me to chatporn. For that my writing and my parts will be forever grateful ;)

candesgirl wanted to know about sex toys, but I'm not sure what to say. I only have one - a tiny bullet vibrator. It's perfectly functional, but I'm no great collector.

I do have something of a fascination, though, for some of the beautiful glass pieces you can get - dildos and butt-plugs that just look gorgeous. I'm not sure I would want a dildo as I have a very capable man on hand *waves at Mr G* but they do look stunning. However, Mr G and I did once consider getting a glass butt-plug from Amsterdam and giving it to my parents as a mantlepiece ornament. I don't know whether I was frightened that they would actually know what it was, or that I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face when visiting, but we didn't in the end. More's the pity...

I've only gotten into Doctor Who relatively recently, but terraswrath has been doing a very good job of bringing me up to date on the tiemlore ;)

I only do new!Who - I was never really into it as a kid. But even when it comes to the new series, I confess I wasn't a massive fan of Nine. I thought it was a waste of a regeneration if I'm honest. I didn't think that Eccleston really wanted it and whilst he had his moments I think that he generally came off as sarcastic or snide when he was trying to be deep and emotional. Tennant was my main reason for falling in love with the show; Jack kept me interested; The Master made me swoon in ways that I'm sure are all kinds of wrong; and Donna was just the kicker at the end. There were some amazing stories and the development of the characters was just gripping. I didn't think I wanted Catherine Tate as an assistant, but I think she was the best assistant I've seen.

I'll be really interested to see what happens with Moffatt at the helm and Matt Smith's hand on the tiller. I think there is real potential for an interesting dynamic with such a young Doctor. I was kinda hoping for an older, fugly Doctor so we could move away a little from the whole "assistant wants to shag the Doctor" thing, but I'm keeping an open mind.