Madame G

As seen on karaokegal 's and candesgirl 's respective journals:

 

 

1. Bold the names of guys you'd definitely shag.
2. Italicize the names of guys you might shag after a little persuasion.
3. Leave the guys who don't do anything for you alone.
4. Put a question mark after the guys you've never heard of.
5. Strike the guys you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
6. ADD THREE OF YOUR OWN AT THE END.

( The long, long list of men... )

In summary, I've not heard of an awful lot of these people and I'm really quite picky.

It seems this is the week for memery. This one comes to you via ebonystar and smutjunkie

If you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do?

All comments will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then, repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

Imma get this out of the way up front. Living in a house with broken central heating when it's -6^oc outside sucks great big donkey balls. I've been in the house for an hour and a half and I still haven't taken my coat off, even while I'm sitting here waiting for my dinner to be cool enough to eat. I can see big steaming clouds of my own condensed breath every time I breathe out and I can't feel my index fingers on either hand.

Still, I'm not gonna let it get me down, so to cheer me up I've decided to share the love and kinda invent my own meme. I'm sure someone's done it before, probably better, but hey. The sentiment is there.

Comment me with "DO ME!" and I'll respond with three things that I like about you. You are great and I would like you to know exactly why I think that.

And if it is of any interest to you at all, after the quantum leap there are pics of my cousin's new American Bull Terrier pup, Rosie, who is eight weeks old and possibly the most adorable thing ever invented.

( Ziggy predicts a 99% probability of puppies )

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Tuesday I gave silvaa a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points). In October I pulled 51stcenturyfox's hair (-5 points). Last week I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In September I pushed filthypickleinc in the mud (-17 points). In March I helped ebonystar across the street (6 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-1033 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking! Sincerely, filthgoblin

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

So yeah. Spanking. Anyone care to oblige?

I've been away from internets for a few days. Mostly hiding under a pillow because the world was too painfully bright to deal with. A fie on migraines. Particularly ones that last three whole days.

To break myself back into writing, I shall set about answering some questions set by sweetsyren in response to her questions meme. So here they are. Five questions that she set for me to answer. If you want a set, comment and I'll suggest something.

1. You've discovered a secret door in your house. Where does it go?

I thought about this one long and hard. I could think of a lot of answers, or the stock "wherever I wanted it to take me depending on my mood", but that's a total cop-out. So I say that my secret door is a door to the outside world as I would usually experience it, except I'm completely invisible. Sometimes I wish I were invisible. I don't want to spy on anyone particularly. I just don't want to be seen.

2. If you could rob a bank and get away with it completely scott free, would you?

No. I don't see the point. Money isn't the route to happiness for me. Not having any at all can bring about unhappiness, but it's not a coefficient where the more money you have, the happier you are. I also think that I enjoy many of the things I do because I know I've had to work to earn them. I'm satisfied with being comfortable. I wouldn't want buckets of money.

3. If you could go back and change one decision what would it be and how would you change it?

I don't think I'd change a thing about my life. All of the experiences I've had in my life to date have made me into the person I am now. Looking back over it all, I've had times where in the moment I might've wished things had gone differently but now, I think it's all part of the process. I don't want to disrupt my continuum. If I changed one tiny thing in my past, I might not have met all the wonderful people I know now or be in the position I am today. I regret nothing.

4. How could I cheer you up if you were miserable?

You would come to my house. You would give me a hug. A big one. Then you would brandish a Spaced box-set and we would sit down and watch it, giggling along. Then we might stop and have a little slow-mo fake gunfight.

5. You've got 24 hours to the end of the world. What are you doing??

I am with Mr G, reminiscing, laughing and spending time in bed. I am calling all my friends and loved ones to tell them what they mean to me. I'm going about my day, because whatever I haven't achieved in the last 32 years of my life I'm unlikely to manage in my last 24 hours.

I tagged myself in 51stcenturyfox's Icon meme, and she suggested the following ones for me:





1.

This image is my default pic and is of Julie Walters as Christine Painter from the film Personal Services. She's all kinds of snarky awesome in that movie and in that particular scene Christine, having just received a taxbill, has a taxman in a tiny loincloth chained up in the dungeon room. She walks in dressed in that full-length rubber catsuit and a cat o' nine tails, gives said taxman three lashes and says "That's for the bloody Inland Revenue!" and storms out. She's amazing!

2. 3.

I took two and three together because they're from the same show. Einstein and Eddington was a biopic of the relationship between the two great scientists during the Great War. The first pic, of Mercury, was from Arthur Eddington's orbiting constellation in his study and illustrated why Einstein's General Theory of Relativity was correct. The other icon is of Eddington [David Tennant], sobbing his heart out after he finds his best friend William, and someone for whom it is very strongly hinted he had romantic feelings, has been killed in battle at Ypres. He later confesses to his sister Winnie, in a cracking desperate voice, "But I loved him! I loved him so much!" It breaks my heart, every time.

4.

I love Barney Stinson. I love Neil Patrick Harris. I use this as a multi purpose icon that says either "listen to what I'm telling you", which is what Barney was trying to convey, or "You & me? We share the same thoughts!"

5.

My former RPS OTP [and one for whom I still have a very soft spot] in possibly one of the best manips I've ever seen. Just looking at it makes me a little bit wibbly.

6.

51stcenturyfox said to pick one of my choice, so that's it. I mean, c'mon. Who doesn't love a flailing Kermit? Heartless people, that's who!

If you want a go, comment and I'll go rifle through your icons

I promise that one day I'll post something that's not a meme. I am working on fic, I just haven't finished anything in faaaar too long.

In the meantime, I bring you a journal meme pinched from 51stcenturyfox

My username is: filthgoblin. When I signed up for what was originally intended as a fic journal, I tried a number of usernames that combined a word for being innuendous or dirty with some kind of creature. Smutmonkey, smutbunny, filthbunny and various others were already taken, so I ended up with this one.

My journal name is: "Journal of a maladroit". It just used to be The Filthcave, which I guess it still kinda is. I have just been aware that since I started using the journal to post f-locked stuff of a more personal nature I spent quite a lot of time talking about my misadventures trying to deal with other human beings. That kinda summed it up for me.

My title is: Tales of awkwardness and social ineptitude, occasionally punctuated with fiction. That kinda sums it up, really.

My friends page is called: Health Services. Because that way if I have my LJ open at work and minimised to the task bar, it looks work related.

My default userpic: is of Christine Painter from the film Personal Services, played by Julie Walters and loosely based on the experiences of renowned Madam Cynthia Payne. It's a fantastic movie and so very quotable. The one I probably use most often is from the scene where the Vice Squad tells her she'll be going down [as in to prison] for her crimes and she says "I only go down for a price, dear, and I doubt if you could afford it." I've said that on many occasions, some of them not entirely appropriate ;)

I spotted this on the fandom wife candesgirl's journal and decided to give it a go. So here it is. Seven random facts about me that you probably could have lived out the rest of your life without knowing.

1. I am an atheist. The idea of belief in an abstract being, creator or creators doesn't compute in my head. I am forensic in my need for proof of things, and that goes for everything. I don't believe in ghosts, fairies, vampires, werewolves or anything else of this sort. That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the stories. However, greater than my atheism is my dislike of organised religion. I understand that it does some people good to be part of a community or put their faith in something, but does harm to many more. I personally think the world would be a much better place without it.

2. If I had the money I would pack in work tomorrow and go to drama school, if one would have me. I love to act so much and whilst I'm not so vain as to think that I would make a massive success of it as a career because I'm kinda funny-looking and unlikely to be able to find a niche, I would love to learn more and have the chance to put what I learned into practice. However, I'm very happy to do it as a passtime and grateful I have a relatively well-paid job that lets me do the things I enjoy in my spare time. I just wish there were other amateurs who take it as seriously as I do.

3. I have an internal editor that I can't turn off. I judge people who use bad grammar. If I start reading something that mixes up "cue" with "queue" or "volition" with "violation", or some other such thing, I have to struggle very hard to keep reading if I even bother at all. I'm a horrible, terrible perfectionist and I just can't stop myself. My eye is tuned to tiniest minutiae setting and certain of my friends will attest to the fact that I turn into a total bitch when faced with bad writing. I wish I could just let it slide, particularly for things like fanfic which are never meant to be serious business and intended for pleasure, but I just can't.

4. I can't just say something nice to someone about something they've done to make them feel better. I cannot butter people up. I just can't. If you get a compliment from me, I really mean it. I can't abide false flattery. If I don't like something, I will usually just button my lip and say nothing.

5. I hardly ever remember my dreams. Of late, I've hardly been sleeping enough to have any. However, if I eat cheese, I often then go on to dream about well-known people in strange and unusual situations. A recent favourite involved Matthew Bellamy from the band Muse having detatchable hands.

6. All of my favourite singers, comedians and acting heroes are men. I can't explain it, but I can list of a string of men, actors particularly, whom I actually try to emulate in my life and performance. I can't think of a single woman. Out of the hundreds of artists on my iPod, I probably only have about three female vocalists. I've never seen a female comedian I've enjoyed. Ever. I don't even like women in my fiction for the most part. I prefer stories about men. It makes me feel like some kind of traitor to the cause of womankind, but it just seems to be the way I'm wired up.

7. I hate Christmas. Hate it with a seething passion more and more as each year passes, along with all other enforced jollity. It's let me down very badly in the past, and since I'm an atheist (see point 1) I get annoyed with the pressure to feel happy on account of a calendar event that means nothing to me. Mr G has to work. I get stressed. We are forced through duty to spend time with the family, which wears on my nerves and makes me cranky. I'd rather have fun for the sake of it. I love to buy presents randomly for people throughout the year just because I saw something I knew they'd like. I don't want to be told to get excited just because it's the second-to-last week in December.

Ganked from karaokegal

Instructions: Open up your iTunes (or WinAmp, or whatever) and fill out this survey, no matter how embarrassing the responses might be.

This is just for my iPod. I have about 2 terrabytes of music in the house.

How many songs total: 1532
How many hours or days of music: I have no clue how to work that out
Most recently played: "Left of Nowhere" - Grafton Primary
Most played: "We Are The Music" - Grafton Primary
Most recently added: "In It For The Money" - Supergrass

Sort by song title
First Song: "A-K-A I-D-I-O-T" - The Hives
Last Song: "1992" - Blur

Sort by time
Shortest "0" - Clinic
Longest "Marais La Nuit" - Neko Case

Sort by album
First album: "Absolution" - Muse
Last album: "1000 Years of Popular Music" - Richard Thompson

First song that comes up on Shuffle:"Karate Kid 2" - Mexican Institute of Sound

Search the following and state how many songs come up:
Death - 4 - Shuffled Song: "Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above" - CSS
Life - 35 - Shuffled Song: "Colin Zeal" - Blur from Modern Life is Rubbish
Love - 24 - Shuffled Song: "The Price of Love" - White Lies
Hate - 2 - Shuffled Song: "Hate To Say I Told You So" - The Hives
You - 164 - Shuffled Song: "I Don't Like You" - Electric Six
Sex - 16 - Shuffled Song: "The Negative Sex" - I Am X

I was going to post tonight about my starting on the South Beach Diet, and the shitty day I had at work, but I decided against it and answered a load of pointless questions instead.

( I'll grow out of doing these one day. Please let that be soon... )